2021: the year for self-love, growth and healing – Jaspreetnotyourwife1214
For so many of us, 2020 was the most challenging year to date. It was as if all things that could possibly go wrong, did. We were thrown on this rollercoaster ride of emotions, our adaptability skills were tested beyond belief and if I’m being honest, I kind of wanted it to magically end by December 31st2020 (and was really gutted when it didn’t). But you see, whilst 2020 was the year of unwanted hiccups, cancelled holidays and waterfall tears, 2021 is the year for you. It’s the year for positive change, healing and peace.
Whether it was losing your job, best friend or a loved one; maybe it was the relationship that felt long distant, or the fact you couldn’t see your friends; or perhaps your routine had changed – the pandemic has affected each of us in some way or another.
Now in all 28 years of my life, 2020 really was the hardest, yet it was the first time I was unable to run from my problems (and I mean that literally). But how do you work on yourself, love yourself and heal yourself during a pandemic, when almost all conventional methods to do so are not an option?!
We’re in a global pandemic! I felt I had hit rock bottom emotionally and I couldn’t distract myself in others company or go out and pick up a new hobby, the way most pre-covid articles suggest. No, instead, I had to really FEEL my feelings, truly experience, process and understand it all in order to start healing. I mean I couldn’t have a girls night in to feel good and forget my anxiety. I wasn’t allowed to catch a flight or a tan and let the sea wash away my depression. I couldn’t even make a spontaneous booking at Pizza Express and take my mind off things with the garlic dough balls. All of which I later understood wasn’t the best way to heal! Below, I’ve listed some tips on how to feel better, start your healthy healing process and overcome feelings of depression and anxiety, whilst in lockdown.
Tip 1: Allow yourself to FEEL
You see, this is the first time I’ve experienced more than 3 of those at the same time and had to face them head on. So I let my emotions take over and honestly, it was really overwhelming. Actually, a little too overwhelming. In fact it got so bad, I felt I had zero control over my emotions, because I was that girl sat in the living room laughing one moment and crying the next and I couldn’t make sense of it. Not just because I didn’t fully understand it, but because I was in a household that I felt wouldn’t fully understand it either! I felt there were 2 versions of me, an okay me and a really not okay me, but nobody could know about the not okay version. Slightly complicated right? Little did I know at the time that allowing myself to express and feel my feelings was the first step to healthy healing. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!
Tip 2: Take it OUTSIDE
It’s so difficult for some of us to openly express our ugly tears around our loved ones. We might feel like we’re dampening the mood or perhaps we don’t want to share what’s going on and that’s okay. But you DO need to let it out. Whatever emotion you’re feeling, go for a walk and let loose! It feels so good to take a late evening stroll, ugly crying (I mean really ugly crying) and feel yourself let it out. Then do it again. And again and again. Do it as many times as you feel necessary to express yourself, especially if you’re in an environment where you feel you can’t.
Tip 3: BREATH
Literally, inhale and exhale again and again until you feel yourself cooling down. Sounds simple doesn’t it? I promise you we don’t do it enough. Breathing so obviously helped me ground myself and brought me back to the present. It allowed me to calm my anxious feelings and stopped me from panicking. It’s an art and will take practice so go easy on yourself! But once you master it and figure out what you’re REALLY feeling and why, you’ll be able to understand yourself better. Take back control and realise your own power and potential to being the best version of you!
Tip 4: Shift your FOCUS
Relationships, careers, routine, chores etc. Make it about you. Shift your focus and think about the relationship you have with yourself before you think about your relationships with others. Your career is important but it’s not more important than you. Your routine might be a MUST but have you included enough intervals where you’re spending time on the things YOU want to do? And sure, chores need to be done but make yourself a priority amongst all of that too. The key is to make yourself the focus and really ask yourself where the value add is. Your relationship with YOU, your job to look after YOU, your routine that should include YOU are important for your healthy healing journey.
Tip 5: SHARE
Whether it’s with a close friend, your sister or someone who just gets it, talk about it. We too easily become anxious, overthink and over analyse each scenario (I know I definitely do) but opening up to those I trust and whose opinions I respect, has been SUPER helpful with my own growth and self-love journey. It took me months to open up and talk – prior to this, I would write my feelings down. We process things differently and I didn’t believe in writing about my feelings, but my goodness it helps! Whichever you prefer, get it out there!
Tip 6: It really is all about YOU
Invest in YOU. Work on YOU. Focus on YOU. Go ahead and love YOU. Remind yourself that everything you need is within you. As cliché as it sounds (and I’m not a fan of those) it’s true! You were always that successful person before you lost the job. You had all the love within you before you met the ex. Whatever the reason, you have all the tools you need to be the person you want to be. The best version of yourself is waiting to be unleashed, you just need to unlock it. In-case you’re wondering, the key to achieving all of that is through self -love. Do the things that make you happy. Whether it’s watching a funny movie, going for that walk, getting on that workout, finishing that book, starting that meditation class, listening to that podcast. Whatever it may be, take the time to invest in yourself and start doing more of what feels good for you.
You see, once you experience a downfall, the only way to go is up. We prevent ourselves from moving up by supressing or faking our feelings – all we’re doing here is lying to ourselves and delaying our own healing. I hear too often people feeling guilty for putting other things or other people before them. Don’t feel guilty for being an empath. Don’t apologise for your feelings, they’re totally valid. But do LET GO. To truly understand ourselves and HEAL, we must allow ourselves to FEEL. Make yourself a priority and watch it get easier. The love you give yourself, the way you see your self-worth skyrocket, the confidence and self-esteem that comes with that, is incredible and more than worthwhile!
By Jaspreet | @jasdos_